Monday, February 24, 2014

How Inspiration Comes To Me

Sometimes when I'm sitting at my desk (which looked like an episode of "Hoarders" until about a week ago), Inspiration comes by and taps me on my shoulder.

Completely in the zone, I glance up - annoyed - and grumble, "What." Not even a question, just a blah dismissal urging Inspiration and just about anyone from the Account Service department to just keep walking past me. 

Meanwhile, a meeting request pops up on my screen to remind me that I'm going to be late, and I squirm a little bit because I'm multi-tasking and keeping an anxiety attack at bay.

But Inspiration doesn't care that I'm tired, or on the verge of burning out. Inspiration always knows how to negate all of the obstruction, the deadlines, the meetings that never take place and the e-mails that go unread.

Suddenly, Inspiration and my undiagnosed A.D.D. decide it's time to hack into my life and yawn at the tiny details I get hung up on. The hack begins with a complete distraction of whatever is at hand, followed by a completely unexpected interest in FIXING things. 

Mind you, I don't like to waste my time fixing unfixable things. But sometimes, just sometimes, my mind turns to things that I have NO time for and suddenly I zero in on the mediocre and say, "nuh-uh!" 

I'm completely aware of the fact that I'm really busy, but then I start negotiating with myself on what can wait until tomorrow, just so I can split the atom of Right Now. 

The best moments of creative problem solving always come when I'm not in the mood, when I think I have nothing left to give. But Inspiration is like a four-year-old kid that has zero social skills and just doesn't care. It just plops itself front and center and demands attention.

I sometimes wonder what separates me from it most days. Why is inspiration such a thing we to have grasp at? I often get the sense that it comes and goes, but Inspiration has a way of reminding me that it's ever present, always waiting for us to give it time. Inspiration is a patient thing.

I'm not saying it's okay to be lazy about it, but even when you do absolutely everything possible to block yourself creatively, inspiration almost always finds its way again.